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better late than never, our final update has arrived. it is our new home.

last year, we purchased three acres of land with the intent to build on it eventually. about a month after that, we found out that kelly was pregnant with emerson. we knew that we would need more space, so we dove in and decided to build sooner rather than later. we broke ground between Thanksgiving and Christmas of last year, and now here we are, living in the house we built.

maybe it is because we put our thumbprint on every aspect of this house, but it absolutely feels like home. it is the place we have chosen to raise our family, and kelly and i built it with the intent of staying forever.

thank you all for giving us your attention during this chaotic time of year. we certainly hope that you have enjoyed the “12 updates of Christmas” as much as we have. merry Christmas to each and every one of you.

my update will most likely be the most boring out of the bunch, but who cares, right? this year has been so crazy for us. for me personally, i have struggled with the balancing act of it all. somedays i feel like i have conquered the world if the babies have received a bath, and if i receive one too, then well… look out world peace i’m coming for ya! i question my ability as a mom somedays when i find myself wishing i had put a lock on the pantry door because that happens to be the one i’m hiding behind. when we met with out pediatrician concerning jackson’s sleeping habits, or ahem… lack thereof, he told me that realistically I should spend about 10 minutes of each hour one-on-one with each child, and the rest I should just supervise while allowing them independent play. of which i then told him that in all honesty, there are some days that i don’t even give myself ten minutes of independent play, much less independent toilet paper dispensing. but lets not get graphic, it’s the holidays.

i have this issue with guilt. i’m horribly insecure at times, and i am overcome with worry that i will do something to traumatize my children for life. i do this thing when i get really frustrated, and if i could put an audio clip in i would so you could get the full effect, but it basically sounds like a cow bawling and it absolutely sends jackson into a frenzy. he goes running around the house trying to find dusty saying, “daddy? where you at daddy? mama ‘fustuated’ again.” then i feel like such a horrible mother the rest of the day.

one of our very sweet friends told dusty in a twitter response that i was gracious and beautiful… oh how the cinematography lies. truly, most days i am none of these. i quite often wake up with spit-up between my boobs and 1-2 puffs stuck in my ponytail somewhere. i toggle between prayer and barnyard words most of the day, and i am so envious of those other moms who clearly have it together. i’m that mom who doesn’t go anywhere during the day because her children haven’t had their morning poops, and heaven forbid i have one (or two) explosions to deal with in the car, or Target, or jackson’s favorite… Lowes. but life is getting easier as the babies grow. they are so awesome, even on their worst days, and i feel so crazy blessed to be their mother.

dusty convinced me this fall to get an iPhone, and i must say it has changed my life. i didn’t want to at first, but the phone i had originally gotten from AT&T kept randomly turning off, so I took the plunge. now when i am hiding in the pantry and i happen to have my phone with me, i can look up the weather, check my email, and look at the PEOPLE.com app that is all too often my guilty pleasure.

i’m still working two nights a week, and those two nights seem to last a lifetime. i hate being away from my boys. i know i have it a lot better than some moms who work 5 days a week, but i’m just really over working night shift. it’s going on seven years of this and my body is confused. i don’t sleep. i try to nap before work, but most days it’s a lost cause. so basically i stay awake from Sunday morning until sometimes Tuesday morning, after my AWESOME mother-in-law takes my two little monsters tykes for the day. but i’m still nursing Emerson, so i’m back up in three hours to pump. they need to make a pump bra to sleep in. maybe i’ll take that on the show Shark Tank and see if i can get a few investors.

despite the night shift, i love what i do outside of motherhood. being a nurse is completely rewarding, and it challenges my brain and understanding of life. most recently, my managers have allowed me to begin doing something so incredible. as we all know, dusty is the photographer around these parts, and he will continue to be so don’t be alarmed. but now, i have taken some of what dusty has taught me and i am applying it to my own work.

people ask me how i work with all of those laboring moms and those tiny babies and i tell them like someone once told me…. “99% of the time it is so amazing, but it’s the 1% that makes it unbearable sometimes.” that 1% when the outcome is not happy, and the cry that the mother has longed to hear for so many weeks is not heard. it is this which leaves my heart aching for these mother’s i don’t know, but yet will always be connected to because of what i have experienced with them. i have had the honor of being the nurse for those families who leave the hospital without their beautiful babes in their arms, and now it is my privilege to be there with them after delivery and photograph their first few moments as a family. oh it is heartbreaking to say the least, but i feel as though the Lord has instructed me to do this. the suffering that is captured by the lens only brings me closer to God, and leaves me crying at the foot of the cross for the same suffering that He endured as a father. after these particular nights, i come home and i can’t help myself. i cry for these mothers and fathers and families. i cry that they will never talk to their pediatrician about why their child keeps waking up 8 times a night, or why their child wants to eat every two hours at night. and then my ridiculous perils as a mom seem just that… ridiculous.

we are just now getting settled into our new home, and i finally know where some of my stuff is, at least the essentials. ya know like the toilet paper, the paper towels, the chocolate, and the butt paste. all very important to a mother’s survival. am i right?

if you stuck it out reading this crazy long post, then thank you, and once again thank you for following the stepps. we wish you and yours a very Merry Christmas.

well, today’s update is not exactly what we had originally planned. today, you were supposed to hear from kelly. unfortunately though, our little family has acquired some type of stomach bug, and it has hit us hard. so, this is about as real and current of an update as you can possibly get from us. just to make it somewhat entertaining, let me give you a glimpse into what this week has been like for us.

it all started with emerson. on sunday night, we went to eat with some of kelly’s family, including her sister and nephew that are in town for Christmas. kelly works as a part-time nurse two nights a week, so she was going to leave straight from the restaurant to go to work. just as usual, i would have the boys for the night. no problem. we had all eaten, and once we were home, bath time and bed. easy peasy. only we never made it out of the parking lot. as soon as emerson was strapped in his car seat, he began throwing up profusely. it was everywhere. all over him. all over the car seat. all over the car. so we immediately went into action cleaning the scene. it was brutal. kelly is absolutely amazing in situations like this, and she called the hospital and told them that she would be late. having her come back home with us to care for emerson was such a blessing. that is definitely a job for two parents. once emerson was settled, kelly went on to work. we made it through the night, and with the help of some medicine, emerson seemed to be better by tuesday. just as we thought we were out of the woods, wednesday came.

it started out like any other morning, trying to figure out what the boys wanted for breakfast. jackson has recently developed a strong dislike towards his high chair, and since he now sleeps in a “big boy bed”, he doesn’t understand why he can’t sit in a “big boy chair”. so, in utter determination, he began climbing on one of the kitchen chairs. and then, a huge crash. he hit his head on the hardwood floors, which is pretty standard for jackson. i mean, we have already been to the emergency room with him multiple times for this exact same reason. but it took him longer than normal to calm back down, and he was definitely overly needy, even for jackson. then, about 45 minutes later, he began throwing up. like, crazy throwing up. more than i have ever seen. he did it while in kelly’s arms, so you can imagine a mother’s reaction. before we knew it, we were on our way to the emergency room yet again.

the whole way there, we were asking jackson questions and trying to talk as much as possible. we wanted to see if he was acting normally. we would ask him where his head hurt, and it would change every time he answered. perfect. as soon as we got to the emergency room, jackson quickly became friends with the security guard. this was probably due to the fact that she promised him candy bars when he was done. i think we had to go through about sixteen different stations before we actually got to see a doctor, but jackson did great through the whole process. to help speed the waiting time, kelly played some games with jackson, including counting the purple square tiles along the floor. he also easily went through an entire bottle of hand sanitizer that was mounted to the wall. me on the other hand, i spent my time watching a spectacle of events unfold in the waiting room, including a nice little scene with a psych patient. craziness, literally.

we finally made it back to see the doctor, and as it turns out, jackson was fine. all it took was the mention of candy bars and a few “puffs” and he was back to normal. the doctor told us that there was no need for any additional tests, and that him throwing up was probably related to the same stomach bug that emerson had. it was purely coincidence that it happened after he fell. we were so relieved.

and then morning came. you guessed it, kelly and i both have this sneaky little stomach bug, and it has been some kind of day. jackson is still battling with it as well, so we are all depending on emerson to take care of us. in other words, please pray. the worst part is that today was supposed to be our chance to finish all of our Christmas shopping. being that we haven’t gotten a single gift for emerson yet, we definitely have some work to do. but right now, we can’t even hardly get out of bed. so, hopefully, we will be back in action tomorrow, and if we survive, you can then expect to hear from my sweet little wife then.

what a year it has been welcoming emerson into our family. i can hardly believe that he will be one-year-old next month. it seems like we were just racing to the hospital in a blizzard to have him.

that’s right, a blizzard. for those of you that don’t know the birth story of emerson, he decided to come at the onslaught of the biggest snow storm we had last year, and we had to drive all the way to asheville through the craziness. during the trip to the hospital, there was a moment where we had a decision to either take the interstate or continue on highway 25. as i was anxiously sitting in the turning lane waiting to get on the interstate, kelly, amidst heavy contractions, told me that she didn’t have a good feeling about taking the interstate. noticing all of the cars sliding down the hill on highway 25, i questioned if she was sure she wanted to try going that way. she was adamant about staying away from the interstate, and as we later found out, it was a blessing from God. evidently, there was a big truck that had jack-knifed along the same interstate route that we would have taken. in fact, several nurses had not made it to the hospital because of that accident. in other words, had we taken the interstate, we would have been stranded. and while i love watching grey’s anatomy, i don’t think that qualifies me to deliver a baby. i am so thankful that we made it to the hospital that night, and even more thankful for the sweet little boy that was born shortly thereafter. if you did not see his birth video, please take a few minutes to watch it below.

along with the memorable trip to the hospital, the fact that emerson was born on the anniversary of our first date was so very special. he arrived on january 30, 2010. eleven years prior to that, on january 30, 1999, kelly and i went on our very first date. it still gets me every time i think about it.

and while his birth story is pretty incredible, emerson’s first year of life has been no less memorable. right out of the gate, he was an extremely difficult baby for the first 10 weeks. it was like we were starting with jackson all over again. he constantly fussed and cried and screamed, and it was very difficult for all of us. you may have already seen this, but here is a video of jackson trying to tell emerson to be quiet.

then, after 10 weeks, it stopped. being that it was 10 months with jackson, we were quiet relieved. emerson’s little personality started to shine, and we were beginning to see the sweet baby that we had longed for all this time. so, let me tell you about this adorable baby boy.

emerson is definitely our little sweetheart. while he can certainly be a mischievous devil, he is ultimately good. but now don’t get me wrong, he still loves to cry and scream and pitch fits. he adores his older brother, and he is always glued to jackson’s every move. you can see the little wheels turning and plotting in emerson’s head, and that scares us a little. he is a pretty little boy, which often makes people mistake him for a girl. he is rock solid tough, and not much phases him. jackson could step on something and start crying, while emerson could fall off the couch backwards and it would not upset him. he and jackson have already started wrestling around, and i must say, emerson holds his own. he does have a very, very intense temper. he is usually pretty chill, but if you cross him wrong, he explodes. we are working on that. he absolutely loves animals, and his sweetness really shines through if he sees a dog or a cat. he has the best little laugh, and as evidenced in the video below, the simplest of things can crack him up.

as you saw in his crawl video, he is quite a little mover. he has taken one or two fumbling steps, and he is so close to walking. we are pretty sure he is going to be a big talker as well. he mumbles all day long, and he has formed five different words: dada, mama, baba, nana, and lulu (our cat). when he looks at me and says “dada”, it melts my heart. i was able to snag a quick video of emerson’s sweet little voice this morning.

between both of our boys, we definitely have our hands full. but ultimately, we wouldn’t want it any other way.

as many of you know, we moved this year. we had been in our previous house for almost six years, and with two little boys, we had quickly outgrown it. it was an old house with tons of character, but more than that, it was our home. i adored it, and because of all the wonderful memories we created there, i will never forget it.

kelly and i bought that house two weeks before our wedding, and our wedding night was actually the first night we spent in it. while it was in great shape when we bought it, we worked diligently year after year to continue to improve upon it. we began to build our lives together as a married couple at that very place, and we would later bring both of our baby boys home to it.

i could talk about it for days, but instead, i made a video to document a handful of the key moments spent in our first home. the music is titled “small memory” by jon hopkins, a song that i have been reserving for a while. there is no doubt that house will forever be etched in our hearts, but this video helps to keep it just a little bit closer.

oh jackson, where do i ever begin. this kid is something else. over-the-top in every way imaginable, he is far too intelligent for a two-year-old. and i don’t mean that as a proud parent, i mean that as genuinely as possible. he is razor sharp, and for someone to fully grasp how smart he is, they would have to spend an entire day with him. he talks in complete sentences, reasons with adults, and comprehends things that still blow my mind. his vocabulary is insane, and he has been saying his abc’s as well as counting up to 20 since he was 18 months old. he is bright. too bright. and as kelly describes it, he battles the little angel on one shoulder and the little devil on the other shoulder every day of his life. he is intense, and some might even call it passionate. any way you slice it though, he is always entertaining. this video below gives you just a quick glimpse into his little personality, and i crack up every time he “shoots” the camera.

when people ask what his favorite thing is, there is no hesitation in answering. cooking. i can’t even begin to describe how passionate he is about cooking. he has been taking kelly’s pots and pans out of the kitchen since he first learned to crawl. he always has some sort of spatula or kitchen utensil, which he affectionately calls his “boom boom”. he adores his apron, chef hat, and oven mitt, as well as his little tikes grill. in fact, the very first night he had that grill, he turned his humidifier on full blast, backed the grill up to it, and ran around exclaiming that his food was burning while pointing to the steam and calling it smoke. quite imaginative. he always has a few of kelly’s tea bags in a pot on his stove, and he typically cooks medleys of pancakes, green beans, and macaroni. although lately, his new favorite dish is “chocolate meat”. while most kids his age throw or eat play-doh, he rolls it up and flattens it into perfect hamburger patties that he then places on his grill. at almost every meal, he trades his fork for a spatula, adds the water from his sippy cup to his food, and begins “cooking” instead of eating. we can’t go to a restaurant without him requesting to go back to the kitchen and meet the chef. i wish you could see the wonder in his eyes when he actually does get to see the kitchen.

and while visiting a restaurant is almost always an exciting experience for him, there is one particular instance that it is not. for whatever reason, he does not like the bread lady at our local cafeteria. and the funny thing is that it is never the same lady. he just doesn’t like whoever is serving the bread. it started out as what we thought was a joke, but it quickly became apparent that he really does not like that lady. from the moment we walk into the cafeteria, he starts saying, “don’t like that lady”. and with each step that takes us closer to the actual bread area, his volume and intensity escalate. every single time, I have to apologize to the lady and tell her to please not take it personally.

and now the little stinker does the same thing at the bank. without fail, every time we approach the drive-through, we hear “don’t like that lady at the bank” from the back seat. it usually starts out soft and quiet, but then as we continue to approach the teller, he gets a little more rowdy. you can get an idea of what i am talking about from the video below.

however, as we recently found out, there are some ladies that he does like. i don’t know if you happened to see the opening act of the american music awards this year, but it was performed by rihanna, and it was quite provocative. jackson was glued from the start, and as it progressed, it became a little too much for little eyes, so i had to turn it off. but not before jackson pulled me close and said with wide eyes, “daddy, i LOVE that lady.” it was honestly one of the funniest things i have ever heard come out of his mouth, and we have been laughing about it for weeks.

so, there you have it. that is an update of jackson in a nutshell. there is no way i could possibly elaborate on everything he has done this year in this small space, but hopefully you have a better idea of who he is. if there is one thing for sure, it is that we have a constant stream of entertainment, and i can’t wait to see where the future takes us.

alright, since the past two updates have been primarily about me, i think it is time to shift the focus. as you can tell by the title, this update is about emerson’s baby dedication, which took place on mother’s day this year. so, for a moment, i want to tell you a little bit about my amazing wife.

it is no secret that we took on a lot this year. we welcomed a new baby into the world, managed a two-year-old, sold a house, built a house, and moved, all in the same year. intense, i know. everyone said that we were crazy, and there were many moments that we would have agreed. and although we have seen the best and the worst of each other throughout this year, if anything, it has brought us closer than ever. in the twelve years that i have known kelly, i don’t think i have ever appreciated her as much as i do right now.

day in and day out, she takes care of two wild little boys that are enough to drive anyone crazy. she keeps our home spotless, our bellies full, and our hearts content. she loves like you wouldn’t believe. she genuinely cares for others, whether they are friends, family, or someone she just met. she prays more than any woman i have ever known, and her love for God drives me to want to be better. she is smart, witty, and a laugh a minute. when she is in the room, you want to be next to her. i am blessed to have her as a friend, wife, and mother of my children.

with all of that said, you can understand the driving force behind the mother’s day videos that we have made the past two years. last year, jackson and i schemed together to create a chalk masterpiece for her very first mother’s day. this year, the boys and i were at it again, but this time we made cards with finger paint. please take a few minutes to watch the video below. the music is a song titled “timshel” by mumford & sons. you can also check out the actual cards that we created below the video. enjoy.

as you have seen thus far, our “12 updates of Christmas” have been a mix of photos, videos, and now, stories. we have reserved 4 special updates that will be dedicated to each member of our family. this way, you can get a glimpse of what is going on in each of our lives. it just so happens that i am the lucky one starting the personal updates. so, here we go.

as many of you know, i am a media designer that owns and runs a small production company called viewfromzero. i am going into my fifth year of business, and i love what i do. i get to travel to some of the most remote locations to take photos and shoot videos for clients. sometimes i wonder if it is real. but as wonderful as it is, i still find myself wanting to pursue something just for fun outside the realm of production.

that being said, i have decided to start a new blog about one of the greatest gifts i have experienced in life. you guessed it, being a dad. there are a vast number of blogs on the web right now, but not very many focused on fatherhood. this new blog is for the modern dad. you know, the one that you see at chick-fil-a with a diaper bag in one hand, a baby in the other, and a toddler running circles around his feet. in other words, me.

it will of course be a collection of fun stories and moments told from a dad’s perspective, but the main focus will be on tips and tricks for modern parents looking to simplify their complicated lives. i will be diving into technology, baby products, home organization, and many other things that can help make life as a parent easier. now, i will be the first to admit that i am no expert. in fact, i have only been a dad for two and a half years. so, by starting this new blog, i hope to build a community of parents that can help each other with ideas and suggestions. it will be a site that welcomes both moms and dads, and above all, it will be fun.

now, you may be asking, “wait a minute, what about this blog?” believe me when i say that this blog is not going anywhere. we absolutely love updating our friends and family about all that is going on in our lives, and it has been more fun than we ever anticipated. this new blog, however, takes a step away from my personal family life, and focuses more on parenting in general. it is a blog that i could advertise and build without feeling like i was exploiting my family. plus, i genuinely feel like their is a niche of savvy moms and dads that would enjoy a little corner of the web like this.

so, what will it be called? well, today i am proud to announce the launch of “i’d rather be dad.” now, this is a soft launch, meaning that i still have a ton of work to do on the website and details, but nonetheless, it is official. and just to get the party started, i am offering a free download of my 2010 Christmas music mix. i know it is only a week before Christmas, but i am pretty sure that you could still get some heavy mileage out of this mix. so, what are you waiting for? head on over to idratherbedad.com and check it out.

and by the way, i would love to hear your thoughts on all of this. you can comment below, or hit me up on facebook or twitter. as always, thank you for listening.

for kelly’s birthday this year, all that she wanted was a standalone freezer unit. grant it, this was a pretty big birthday gift, but since we needed appliances for our new home, it seemed like perfect timing.

now, as you may have gathered from previous stories, i tend to get carried away with creating things, whether it be photos, videos, or gifts. this time was no different. not only did i want to get kelly a freezer, but i wanted to present it to her in a way that she would always remember. so, what i came up with was “frozen notes”. now let me explain.

this was in the midst of summer, and life was well, chaotic. it was honestly the busiest that we have ever been, and while everything was flying by, it seemed like we were missing so many great things that the boys were doing. jackson was talking like crazy, and emerson was beginning to form somewhat of a personality. like most parents, i literally wanted to bottle all of it up and remember what they were doing. so i did.

i created little cards displaying some of the most memorable things that they were saying and doing. i then bottled these little notes up into kelly’s favorite mason jars, and placed them inside her brand new freezer. the cards, as you may have guessed, were titled “frozen notes – messages from your boys”. there were nine different notes from jackson, nine different notes from emerson, nine different notes from me, and one very special note from all of us. for her birthday card, i then photographed a handful of these notes strategically placed on top of the freezer.

i was very happy with how all of it came together, and i think the boys were just as excited as i was to give it to kelly. so, while she did get the freezer that she wanted, the real gift was inside of it.

you can check out the birthday card below, along with the notes from jackson and emerson. for viewing purposes, each group of notes are together on one page. just click on the images to see them in a larger size.

here is the birthday card, which gave kelly an explanation of everything.

here are the notes from jackson, which were some of his most frequent sayings at that time.

and here are the notes from emerson, which were an interpretation of his thoughts.

while emerson is now a little over 10-months-old, he first started crawling at 7-months-old. and boy can that kid move. he likes to crawl at varying speeds depending upon the situation. if there is an object that he needs to crawl over (and yes, jackson counts as an object), then he crawls at a lower speed with much more force. this maneuver has earned him the nickname “bulldozer”. but then if he is after something (typically something that he is not supposed to have), then he crawls at a much higher speed. he is quite determined at any speed, and the little stinker usually gets what he wants.

so, just as we did with jackson, we have created a crawling video for emerson. this video was actually shot and put together a little over three months ago, so a lot has changed since then. nonetheless, these are his first moves, and the beginning of a very long journey.

the video is aptly titled “move”, and the music is a song called “prelude” by spacesuit. in fact, if you dig the tune, the entire album is available for a free download. highly recommended. that being said, i present to you our little man crawling.